max and paddy raymond the bastard
[[spoiler: Max and Paddy get stuck with the job of shovelling coal into a furnace while in prison, and Max says that therell be two kitchen jobs available once Raymond The Bastard arranges for two inmates to get locked in the freezer.]] The first farmer (Graham Walker) that Max and Paddy meet is one of The Grumbleweeds. They are fugitives due to an incident in the last episodes of Phoenix Nights, in which a club patron threatened to have them killed by hitmen. Paddy is still bleeding profusely when he walks away afterwards.]]. ** In Max and Paddys defence, they did tell Brian that he was going to ruin their chances of freedom, so Brian should have known that that something bad was going come out of this. * BeardOfEvil: One of Raymond the Bastard's men has a massive beard. And he's also an AxCrazy Yandere. He claims they can sell it on at market for around 300. Tina warns Max to keep his distance and not reveal the secret, but the following morning he informs Paddy and the pair steal what they think is a school bus with young Daniel aboard. They end up changing their minds by the end of the episode [[spoiler:when they see a pig- possibly the same pig they bought from the farmer and ended up caring for- roast and served at a pub, and order two nut cutlets instead]]. [[DescriptionCut And this is after Max has mentioned him "softening up" in recent years. Email or phone: Password: Forgot account? The entire male staff of the Phoenix Club in Episode 4, stripped nude and sprayed with disinfectant. [[spoiler: Max decides not to tell his long lost son Daniel that he is his real father; allowing Daniel, Tina, and Kevin (Tinas husband and an old friend of Max who believes he is Daniels father) to remain a happy family. In the West Country, Paddy is driving the van when he accidentally runs over and kills a cow walking in the road. With Max's inferior tunnelling skills, sharing a cell with Cliff Richard is the least of Paddy's worries; his good looks are bound to cause problems in the shower and not just in competing for the soap. They are left vulnerable and exposed as their fellow criminals realise there are no gold or diamonds, and certainly no cannibalism. The prisoners also turn against them after finding they are not big time thiefs, money they have also promised to Mr. Big for the easy life. Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere Status: Ended. Unbeknowst to Max, Billy has become obsessed with Max and goes to all lengths to give Max what he wants. * EvilFormerFriend: Billy the Butcher to Max. ''', ** Max and Paddy not paying the (admittedly extortionate) repair bill for their motorhome and instead [[spoiler: stealing it back (see MacGyvering), and taking all of the keys to cars the mechanics were working on and tossing them out of the motorhome one by one while driving off]] seems like this until the reveal that [[spoiler: the mechanics didn't do any work on the motorhome yet still tried to charge them £500. * TheYardies: Raymond the Bastard is black, a convicted criminal, and speaks with a Jamaican accent, so it's safe to say he qualifies as a Yardie. * BadassLongcoat: Billy the Butcher wears one of these. Stars Peter Kay, Paddy McGuinness and Lisa Hammond. * ButtMonkey: Gypsy Joe in the first episode. . Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". [[spoiler: Daniel]] lampshades this. After an uncomfortable first night, Paddy admits his fear of being 'bummed' (see sodomy) in the shower room by Raymond the Bastard (Raymond Langley). However, the fight is prevented by a prison officer telling Max and Paddy to come with him. Politically Incorrect!". ]], * JailBake: [[spoiler: Averted. spoken by Paddy to Billy the Butcher when knocking him out with a traffic cone.]]. [[spoiler: She tells the Police why Max and Paddy stole a school bus full of children (Max was trying to meet his long lost son), which gets them released from prison but (more immediately) gets them pulled out of the exercise yard just as Raymond The Bastard and cronies are approaching them with the intention of savagely beating and quite possibly killing them. This joke is based around the rumour that Sunderland player John O'Shea is regularly teased by. * AmusingInjuries: Gypsy Joe's broken leg when Max and Paddy accidentally drop him from a TV screen(which they're using as a stretcher) from a great height. ** Tina has an offscreen one in Episode Four thats both intentional and accidental. Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere is a British sitcom starring and written by Peter Kay and Patrick McGuinness. * ButtMonkey: Gypsy Joe in the first episode. When this happens, it's usually because the owner only shared it with a small group of people, changed who can see it or it's been deleted. Learn how and when to remove this template message, Screwed: The Truth About Life as a Prison Officer, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Everal_Walsh&oldid=1104797357, Short description is different from Wikidata, BLP articles lacking sources from October 2013, Articles with unsourced statements from October 2013, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 16 August 2022, at 23:45. * EstablishingCharacterMoment: [[AxCrazy Billy the Butcher]] is introduced beating a pizza delivery man up with a bin for bringing him the wrong delivery. Their 10 year old son, Daniel, is secretly revealed to be Max's but Max promises never to interfere in his life and to keep the secret. Season 1 of Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere premiered on November 12, 2004. See EpicFail.]]. This leads to several arguments, especially when they realise the television doesn't have any speakers. Tracing the cow to a nearby farm, the pair head off to find the farmer and claim expenses for the damage to the van. Max has "How dare you" (delivered in a haughty tone) and "You only get a bucket and a half" (relating to the amount of semen a man can produce), and Paddy has "Paddy has needs" (relating to his sex drive). When Billy catches Paddy snooping about his stuff, Billy pulls out his revolver and prepares to shoot him. [[spoiler: She tells the Police why Max and Paddy stole a school bus full of children (Max was trying to meet his long lost son), which gets them released from prison but (more immediately) gets them pulled out of the exercise yard just as Raymond The Bastard and cronies are approaching them with the intention of savagely beating and quite possibly killing them. Or as Paddy calls them, "Big Bob's [[PrecisionFStrike Bastard]] Beans". Paddy's full name is revealed to be Patrick O'Shea. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". 14 * AmbiguouslyGay: Billy the Butcher has a Yandere-like obsession with Max, but insists he doesn't want to be with him in "a gay way." 15 * EvilIsPetty: Billy the Butcher gets into childish arguments with Paddy over song titles. ]], * LuxuryPrisonSuite: [[spoiler: Max and Paddy get one complete with duvets, a box of, ** Replace "crap" with "fuck" and you've got Mick Bustins exact reaction when he sees [[spoiler: that Max and Paddy have stolen the keys to all of his clients' cars. As he's about to shoot Max, Paddy has a second wind, and whacks Shannon around the head with a traffic cone, using Peter Kay's TV catchphrase of "'Ave It!" After an altercation with a camp inmate called Pepe, Max and Paddy are soon confronted by the main man of their wing, Raymond The Bastard (played by Everal Walsh), who is also Pepe's boyfriend. * ContinuityNod: When Young Kenny appears in Episode Four, he still has the impossible to remove tiger facepaint that he got at. Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two silly doormen, but genuine big-league gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. Actor 1 episode, 2004 Beric George 1 episode, 2004 Stuart Wolfenden . Billy also appears in said flashback before he returns as the main supporting character in Episode Six. Things get worse for the duo when Brian Potter turns up, determined to get his doormen out of jail. Max and Paddy pose as members of staff, and Joe pretends to faint so an ambulance will be called while Max and Paddy steal the TV from the stockroom. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". Can't find a movie or TV show? Soon, their old Phoenix Club boss Brian Potter (played by Kay) unexpectedly comes to visit, along with a cake, announcing that he's organising several events to help speed up their release. After an altercation with a camp inmate called Pepe, Max and Paddy are soon confronted by the main man of their wing, Raymond The Bastard (played by Everal Walsh), who is also Pepe's boyfriend. Max in turn makes his own heroic sacrifice by [[spoiler: not telling Daniel that he is his father, and letting Tina's family remain intact.]]. Paddy is forced to share a cell with a Cliff Richard impersonator and they have a very uncomfortable encounter in the showers!From Max and Paddy's Road To Nowhere Season 1 Episode 4: After the previous episode the duo are now being held on remand in prison. What does he do? After a bad first night, Paddy admits his fear of being 'bummed' in the shower room. * ConvenientlyCellmates: [[spoiler: Averted in the case of Max and Paddy, along with some LampshadeHanging from a guard. Christine, 33, and Paddy have three children. * FatIdiot: Max is as much a KnowNothingKnowItAll as he was back in Phoenix Nights. After knocking down a cow in the countryside, Max and Paddy approach who they believe to be the farmer and ask for compensation. They're generally decent guys but not above stealing and conning people if it will benefit them. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. Not long after, Brian Potter pays a visit and thanks to a news article regarding the Phoenix Club, the inmates find out that Max and Paddy are just "bouncers". 15Hopeless doormen Max and Paddy leave clubland and embark on a series of wild and exciting adventures in their prized motorhome, \"Easy Rider\" style. Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two inept doormen, but feared gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. * SeinfeldianConversation: Max and Paddy have these fairly regularly. Bringing you all the best moments from stand up to sitcoms!Subscribe here: https://bit.ly/2OKEbEf#PeterKay #PaddyMcGuinness #Max\u0026Paddy I know. What they fail to notice at the same time is that Shannon is carrying a revolver, which he uses to force a Little Chef employee called Brenda (played by Alex Hall) to open for the trio late at night. [[spoiler: Max decides not to tell his long lost son Daniel that he is his real father; allowing Daniel, Tina, and Kevin (Tina's husband and an old friend of Max who believes he is Daniel's father) to remain a happy family. We don't have any reviews for Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere. The pair arrive in North-East England where Max meets his old friend and once fellow-doorman Billy "The Butcher" Shannon. Dressing as sailors to blend in, the two of them get the attention of two girls called Tracey and Louise. As soon as they're released, they call in an anthrax threat at the Phoenix Club on the night of Jerry's 60th birthday party.]] He's a bog-standard white man. * {{Hypocrite}}: When Max reveals that their new TV has no speakers, Paddy angrily calls Gypsy Joe a typical thieving gyppo and is glad hes eating the grapes they brought him for an injury they caused while heaving him off a bridge so they could escape with the TV hed just helped them steal. Image shows from L to R: Paddy (Paddy McGuinness), Max (Peter Kay). -->''''Don't know where we're going, got no way of knowing. Paddy doesn't oblige. ]], * HeroicSacrifice: Tina is determined to keep the secret that [[spoiler: Max is, * OhCrap: Replace crap with fuck and youve got Mick Bustins exact reaction when he sees [[spoiler: that Max and Paddy have stolen the keys to all of his clients cars.]]. A chase eventually ensues through the services and along a motorway tunnel bridge, and Shannon shoots Paddy in the bottom. * ZanyScheme: Max, Paddy, and Gypsy Joe's plan to steal a plasma TV from a shopping centre. ({{Beat}}) What do you want, son? You'd think by his name he'd be Indian, right? * ThePigpen: Paddy considers Max to be this. I don't [[UnusualEuphemism drink from both pipes]] and [[HandsomeLech that lad]] ''definitely'' does not! ** The climax of Episode Two is a homage to ''Series/TheATeam'' complete with the theme tune playing in the background. ]], ** Also Max and Paddy in Episode Four when [[spoiler: a news report about. You shouldn't upset him. Raymond the Bastard? [[spoiler: Max decides not to tell his long lost son Daniel that he is his real father; allowing Daniel, Tina, and Kevin. ** In the first episode, Max and Paddy pull two girls at a nightclub and bring them back to the motorhome. * AssShove: When Paddy was a child he used to frequently shove. ]], * TunnelKing: [[spoiler: Max's attempts at this leave a lot to be desired. * CarFu: Max and Paddy accidentally kill a cow by ramming it. ]], ** A more straight example comes in the last episode. [[GassHole A lot.]] Max in turn makes his own heroic sacrifice by [[spoiler: not telling Daniel that he is his father, and letting Tinas family remain intact. * DoItYourselfTheme: The theme song was written by Toni Baker and Peter Kay, and borrowed heavily from the theme to ''Series/BJAndTheBear''. '''Brian:''' [[spoiler: Sponge and a bit of jam. * LeftTheBackgroundMusicOn: Episode Three contains a montage of [[spoiler:Max following his long lost son to school and trying to deal with the news that hes a father]] set to the Boyzone cover of "Father & Son". ** Tina has an offscreen one in Episode Four that's both intentional and accidental. ]], * IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy: An example that is both romantic and non-romantic at the same time. [[spoiler: Max and Paddy get stuck with the job of shovelling coal into a furnace while in prison, and Max says that. * LudicrousGibs: Implied in the case of the weird farmer's wife, who got killed by a combine harvester. * YouCanKeepYourHatOn: Non-sexy variant, when the Phoenix Club staff(the male half, anyway) is forced to strip nude and get sprayed with disinfectant, Young Kenny is still wearing his hat. He goes on to say that the relationship abruptly ended after she overheard him and his friends making jokes about her height. The pair come up with a plan to convince their fellow cellmates they are hardened criminals named the Phoenix Twins, in order to survive. Its [[RealityEnsues real life]], not the frigging [[Film/TheShawshankRedemption Shawshank Redemption]]. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Max And Paddy animated GIFs to your conversations. He has also appeared in Coronation Street, Emmerdale and Doctor Who. He was tunnelling towards the next cell. The entire male staff of the Phoenix Club, * StuffedInTheFridge: A literal version is discussed in Episode Four.
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